Self Acceptance
In today’s world, we are surrounded by seemingly ‘perfect’ people, programmes, and lifestyles.If you are a user of any of the many social media platforms, then I’m sure you have been exposed to the myth of perfection. The filters that make everyone look like a supermodel, ordinary people living lavish lifestyles.
None of this is reality, but it can make people feel as though the ordinary life you live is not good enough. This could not be further from the truth, time after time, people come into my therapy room feeling bad about themselves. Feeling as though no matter how hard they try or how much energy they put in, they will never be good enough.
This is not the truth, in reality, we are all living this messy life, full of ups and downs. Life is full of challenges and triumphs, no matter who you are or where you come from, none of us are immune to it.
Perfection is a myth!
So how do we overcome the habit of comparing ourselves to others? THIS is where self-acceptance comes in, I’m getting to the point….promise!
What is it? Well according to the Virginia Department of Health Self-acceptance is defined as an ‘acceptance of all one’s attributes both positive and negative’ in other words it is unconditional acceptance.
We all have things about us that are good, and we ALL have things about us that are flaws, in the time of social media most people forego the sharing of their flaws, but these people have flaws just like everyone else AND THAT IS OKAY!
A massive step towards improving mood, mental health, motivation and achieving your goals is being able to accept that you are flawed and love yourself anyway.
Mental Health
In an ideal world, everyone would have access to mental health support when needed, which we all do at some point in our lives. OK, so perhaps not all of us will experience a full mental breakdown, a psychotic episode, or even depression BUT we all have mental health, whether that be good or bad.
We all experience anxiety, fear, and sadness…. there needs to be more education at a basic level and up the societal ladder to help remove the stigma that can be associated with mental health.
Where does this stigma come from?
To answer this question we need to go back in time to many years ago before Bipolar and Anxiety had their names and depression was referred to as ‘melancholy.’ A good example of how mental health was viewed years ago can be found by looking at cases of what would now be called post-natal depression, years ago this was called hysteria as was a lot of mental health issues. People who suffered from mental health issues at this time would have been in a lot of cases sent to one of the many Asylums for treatment.
These people were often treated horrifically, experimented upon, and often locked away for their entire lives for an illness that would today be treated with medication and therapy. So in many ways, we have come a very long way, however, you only have to listen to the stories coming from the current mental health system to realise we still have a long way to go.
current mental health system to realise we still have a long way to go.
The old, accepted treatment of people struggling with their mental health has been passed down the generations creating a feeling of shame and secrecy for those that are struggling and their families.
No one wants to be labelled as crazy or unpredictable. The truth is none of us get through life without experiencing the highs and lows that life comes with. Some of us are better at hiding the lows than others.
So if you are a person who judges those with mental health issues, I would recommend jumping down off that high horse of yours because none of us are immune.
The first step to helping our mental health epidemic, and it is an epidemic, is to foster a sense of acceptance within our communities so that those who are most vulnerable can feel safe and able to come forward, to reach out for help when they need it. End the stigma.
The second thing that we need to work on is making sure there is help there to be had. Now there is not. If you attend your GP for mental health you will most likely be offered medication or if you are lucky 6-12 weeks of therapy if you still want it after the 12 months of waiting.
Medication can be helpful for some people as it can help tackle the physical factors affecting mental health, such as chemical imbalances CBT is an effective therapy for lots of people, offering a short-term solution-focused therapy that works to change unhelpful thought patterns leading to behaviour change.
I have respect for both of these treatments, and it is undeniable that they have their place in the treatment of mental health, however, I feel that for a lot of people medication and CBT is like putting a plaster on a bullet wound. Why? You may ask. Well because lots of people have much deeper root causes for their mental health problems even with medication and CBT these unresolved experiences are still there on a deeper level fuelling the clients' depression, anxiety etc.
So what do we need? Clients need access to proper long-term mental health help without 12 months plus on waiting lists, we need better-funded crisis teams, and better monitored mental health units. Easy and free to implement mental health strategies suitable for everyone.
